As promised, a showcase of all our talented writers!  We should write an LBS limerick book... I think it would make the top seller's list, right?!  Ü

(disclaimer: If you re-read Beth's, make sure you've had lunch, gone to the bathroom and have provisions for a while.... It'll take you that long to read it. Hehe!)

At LBS we have quite the team,
Full of laughter and high self-esteem.
We have lots of fun,
We know we're #1,
So let's keep on building our dream!

A gaggle of gals on a mission
United with much precision
We are staying the course
We are quite the work force
3 cheers for LBS ambition!

There once was a girl with a baby
Her insurance told her "maybe"
So she called us,
And without a fuss,
The insurance paid for the baby!

Oh me, Oh my, Oh why?
BCBS of CA....sigh
What a pain in the rear
Sure wish they'd adhere
Cause LBS will not turn a blind eye!

I once knew a lady named Christine
She lived life pristine,
So she created Larsen Billing
to help Midwives not hit the ceiling!

I'm pregnant she said,
as she put a hand to her head.
I want a natural birth in my home,
please find me a midwife to come!

There once was a midwife who caught babies
But the paper in her office was making her crazy
So she called LBS
And put us to the test
And now, she just catches babies!

The difference at LBS is in aging.
But at the time I was promised no hazing.
I called UHC for claim status.
Was on hold long enough to learn to use an abacus.
I spoke with a rep named "Fabio".
I said, "You must be kidding me, aren't you though?"
He said my claim was included in global.
I answered, "No, that's not possible."
I don't know how is in Calcutta.
But here, global is billed to the Mutha.
There is a penis on this Bebe ("Bay-Bay")
Global birth requires a Va-Jay-Jay
An infant can't give vaginal birth!
At LBS our Midwives get paid what they're worth!

A strong team run by all ladies
Helps moms, midwives and babies
We give it our best
When put to the test
And leave no room for nos, buts or maybes!

For once in your life
Without any strife
An approved claim
Fit to be framed
All thanks to LBS and a midwife!

Christine is getting hitched
she is waiting to get her dress stitched
She is your CEO
knows where LBS needs to go
in May she will be all blissed

There once was a midwife named Fran
Who knew this was not for a man
For they who fear gore
would be on the floor
And crap surely be in the fan

There once was a company called UHC,
The Reps there are so mean to me.
They Huff and they Puff,
I've had quite enough,
I think I might head over sea.
 

here are women with much endurance,
Who hire midwives for assurance,
That they can provide
Natural birth with pride,
Then ask us to bill their insurance.
 

I called Blue Cross, and spoke with a man
He said, "We won't pay" - I said, "Yes you can!"
So I waited a while
After getting the denial
And spoke to a woman, check in hand!

Christine turned 40
Oh, lordy, lordy
There was a prego cake
and a saddle ride to take
thanks to a Good sport, for our sake
 

At a place called UHC
the rep said my name is, but you can call me!
The only company where you ask,
is a homebirth covered, and they say "What's that?"
 

Need a good laugh to brighten your day?
Go check out what the team's IMs say!
Wait for it . . . wait for it. Ah! There it is!
Those insurance reps really DON'T know their biz

Was grumbling with Jewel from Jaipur,
And as I told her before,
The claim was submit,
Quit being a twit,
Just get me the numbers I need!

There once was a department named Aging
With ladies who like to go a-raging
On the phone with the insurance,
They’ll accept no hindrance
See their poor heads on their desks, sore from banging.
With Jody who is a little bit bossy
But much prefers her hobby of botany
She’ll stalk you on IM
Help you out like a dear friend,
Then ditch you when the weather has turned lovely.
Liz is an ager so fine
She’ll help you get setup online
She fights hard in California
With the tenacity of a cobra
And sits cozy at her desk with her feline.
Our Pamela is an ager so dear
She says not a word with a sneer
Her ethics are stellar
But here is our bummer,
She’s moving into a billing career
Now we all know Nicole has a razor wit
Even though some of us might not quite get it
She’s our resident earth mother
And an actual doula
She helps new moms with their milk and their…bits
Our Dianne Timpson is technically a biller
However, she loves to be a fixer
Her aging is light,
Then she’ll post payments at night
She likes to work late, Go figure.
Lisa’s one of our gals from Enumclaw
To Hawaii she went last fall
She left hubby and kids
She soaked up sun on her eyelids
While her dog puked up elk in her back hall.
Jessica is funny and smart
She is struggling with the potty-training art
She works like a Trojan
The runs her daughter to the bathroom
Only to find out that wasn’t a fart.
Now Anna seems quiet and shy.
But I’m telling you that’s really a lie.
If she lived close to here
I’d have her color my hair
She’s talented with products and dye.
I live my dream life via Carrie
Her life seems so full and friendly
A Weekend Volleyball player
She can hit like a slayer
Then on Mondays back to aging so ably.
Debbie makes us all really smile
She had a rough start, but now goes the mile
She took a bullet through her door
Were they hunting a boar?
Watch out, they grow them tough out in Iowa.
Leena is an interesting mix
Her former career was really quite epic
Now she’s home with her daughter
And loving the laughter
Her skills make her awesome to work with.
And finally there’s our newest gal Heather
Who’s got her a mischievous little jabber
Miley’s her name,
Driving mom crazy’s her game
And wondering what is for dinner?
So there’s our agers tenacious and cool
Insurance companies beware: We’re on to you.
We fight hard for our claims
Even though you’re a pain
Don’t think about taking us for fools.

Larsen Billing rocks! Many reasons why.
Too many to name, but let me try.
We work in our jammies,
More time with our families,
My friends are so jealous, they want to cry!
There's no boss in my face,
No big brute on my case.
I work on my own time,
The decision is all mine.
And it keeps me out of the rat race!

LBS started small
By a woman who,
through trials stands tall.
A woman with courage
who would not be discouraged.
Built something amazing
the team is blazing
a trail straight to the top
we refuse to be stopped.

I tried with all my might
to think of something all night
But, alas had no luck
At rhyming I suck
Oh well,
you all did swell!
 

LBS, where the gals are the salt of the earth
Helping all those who give birth
From VOB, Billing and Aging
Everyone is really quite amazing
We work from our homes
on computers and phones
Helping midwives is what we do best.
 

There once was a facility named AABC
this is the place they deliver babies
Don't have your baby in the car,
You'll want it delivered by our super star!
With a provider named Joan
who deliveres babies bare bones!

Unemployed and looking for a job
Along comes Suzanne
Would I like to be a Sub Contractor for Larsen Billing Service
Sounds like a wonderful opportunity
Now
Larsen Billing Service spelled backwards is
SMART BEAUTIFUL LADIES